| Living Will (Advance Medical Directive) |
| Have you prepared your living will/advance directive? Simply amazing that this should be an issue at our tender ages, isn't it? Get a free form specific to your home state at www.uslivingwillregistry.com/forms.shtm Make copies for your family members and health care providers. Some providers will register your form free or at a discount with the U.S. Living Will Registry, making it available electronically 24/7 when needed. If yours does not, you can register for life for $125. |
I, MAXINE, being of sound mind and body, do
not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by
artificial means. Under no circumstances
should my fate be put in the hands of
pinhead politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended
on it (careful, there, Maxine!), or lawyers/
doctors interested in simply running up the
bills. It should be presumed that I won't ever
get better if a reasonable amount of time
passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the
following:
not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by
artificial means. Under no circumstances
should my fate be put in the hands of
pinhead politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended
on it (careful, there, Maxine!), or lawyers/
doctors interested in simply running up the
bills. It should be presumed that I won't ever
get better if a reasonable amount of time
passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the
following:
| Maxine's Living Will |
chocolate
Coke
chicken-fried steak & cream gravy
Mexican food
chocolate
Starbucks mocha frappuccino
French fries
pizza
ice cream
chocolate
Coke
chicken-fried steak & cream gravy
Mexican food
chocolate
Starbucks mocha frappuccino
French fries
pizza
ice cream
chocolate
When such a determination is reached, I
hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physician to pull the plug, reel in
the tubes, and call it a day.
hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physician to pull the plug, reel in
the tubes, and call it a day.